Tags
advice, anurag, anurag anand, author, corporate lesson, life, life lessons, love, magazine, relationships, suburb life
Some time back I came across an article on polyamory in a leading daily, and it prompted me to research further on the subject.
Simply put, polyamory is the freedom to be in multiple committed relationships at the same time, with the complete knowledge of all concerned parties. Polyamory is different from polygamy to the effect that the multiple relationships in this case aren’t all socially recognized. Of course, one could opt to be in a hierarchal relationship, with one primary partner who supersedes all the others.
Polyamory certainly isn’t about flings or one-night stands either. If anything, being slotted as sexual perverts is the biggest bane for polyamorous folks, and they will tell you that such relationships do not have physical intimacy at the core. Instead, they are about caring and being cared for, sharing, mutual respect and above all – understanding. Growing subscriptions to social media groups for polyamorous folks, and increasing participation in their meet-ups are a tell-tale sign that the acceptance of this ideology is fast spreading.
What is the correlation between polyamory and the corporate world, some might ask. Well, we do share certain relationships with our colleagues – and expectedly so, given the amount of time we spend in their company. However, I have often come across people struggling to make sense of these work relationships and trying to fit them into agreeable frameworks. Some questions that are often asked include: What are the boundaries I should set for my relationships at work? Am I getting too close to a person particular, or spending too much time with her/ him? Do I need to step back a bit? Is this even right? Will my partner understand this, or am I better off keeping it to myself?
This confusion, when it persists, could have extreme repercussions – from creating fissures in personal relationships to driving people to seek change of jobs (sometimes under unamiable circumstances).
So then, does this confusion arise out of the tussle between our natural instincts and the need to conform to unwritten norms of work relationships? Does our value system and conditioning stand in the way of our being comfortable with the naturally forged relationships at work? After all, history and mythology say that we humans have always had a polyamorous side to us. Take the kings of yore and their queens and concubines for instance, and Draupadi, who, even in those patriarchal times was said to be in multiple relationships.
Several new age organizations, knowingly or unknowingly, provide social platforms that act as a petri dish for work-relationships. In Gurugram it isn’t uncommon to find young corporate executives holding late-evening meetings at breweries or BYOB joints. The bonding within such teams is palpable, driving its members to stretch beyond the normal and deliver against stiff deadlines and targets.
Few would argue the importance of that one (or more?) person at work who makes the office fun for us. Who takes away the sting from getting ready for work each morning. Is there something we can do then to let such relationships take their natural course? Well, for starters, how about an introspective session to understand where these work relationships fit into our lives? Of course, with the openness to embrace the outcome, no matter how rattling the results might turn out to be.
First published in Suburb Life Magazine, May 2018 Issue